Navigating Feedback + Power Dynamics
There’s no such thing as a “level playing field” so when we are navigating feedback conversations, power dynamics are always at play
I’ve been thinking a lot about navigating feedback lately, and particularly how we can work with our own defensiveness in service of feedback becoming more collaborative.
And, there are some more growing edges I want to invite us to explore!
When we’re in the dominant position
Can you call to mind a situation in which you’ve been in a dominant or power-over position and received hard-to-hear feedback?
What was this like for you? Did any defensiveness arise?
Whew, I’m thinking of more than a handful of these moments in my own life! And it’s definitely uncomfortable to go there!
(Take a beat to pause and offer care for whatever tender stuff this might bring up for you - this is hard!) <3
Annnndddd - I think it could be worthwhile!
Leaning into our discomfort for the sake of collective liberation
Are you willing to inch towards the discomfort with me for a moment, in service of your commitments to justice and liberation? (Perhaps also your commitments to being a better colleague/boss/comrade/collaborator/parent/partner/friend/elder/mentor/etc!?)
What else can we be growing our awareness of when we are in the position of holding power over in a feedback conversation, in service of more collaborative feedback?
Whenever we find ourselves in dominant positions, privilege or power over, it is extra important that we lean into the growth edges and responsibilities of that position.
These power dynamics could be based on our identities, and/or on our positionality (think boss//employee) in a given context.
From that place of power, working towards justice can mean inviting more feedback more often, and receiving it with as much grace and responsiveness as we can muster.
I love this illustration from Edmundo Norte, one of my teachers through the Nonviolent Leadership for Social Justice program, which shows these roles and responsibilities so clearly:
Stepping into these roles/responsibilities in the dominant position is also a way that we can take on some of the unseen and unchosen labor that folks in the subordinate position are so often carrying.
Another resource I am loving right now is Turning Towards Each Other: A Conflict Workbook, by Jovida Ross and Weyam Ghadbian, which they have generously made available for free.
Taking a look at our dominance for the sake of more regenerative culture
Let’s take a moment with the graphics they have created (drawing deeply on the excellent work of Tema Okun, Kenneth Jones and others on White Supremacy Culture Characteristics), to support us in noticing where else we may be perpetuating patterns of domination – and what else we might be able to shift and transform!
First, call to mind again that situation where you found yourself receiving feedback while in a dominant position.
Give yourself a beat of care for whatever tenderness, pain, hurt, overwhelm, etc, this brings up.
If you’re feeling some willingness to lean into your growth edges, spend some time with the Dominant Culture Patterns:
Notice: which of these patterns are you seeing in yourself? This can bring up a lot, so don’t rush it!
What support might you want to call in to be with whatever feelings come up for you? To be in the learning and transforming this growth edge may invite you into?
When you’re ready, spend some time with the Practices that Cultivate Mutuality, what Ross and Ghadbian also call “regenerative practices.”
What are 1-2 of these practices you’d like to try on?
What’s one way you can implement one in the next week?
Who’s one support person you could share this intention with and invite along on this journey with you?
For all of us, how might leaning into the roles and responsibilities of being in the dominant position support your relationships and collaborations? Your commitments to racial justice, to undoing domination in all its forms? Your own healing and resilience?
Here’s to being together in the multi-generational project of re-growing these regenerative practices for mutuality and collaboration.