Navigating Feedback Can Be Fraught. There Is Another Way.
by Nicole Bauman and Susan Grove
A conversation between you and your collaborator is looming. They’ve initiated it, and you’re dreading it. Or maybe you have some things to say, and you waver between wanting to give them a piece of your mind and wanting to just avoid it, pretending it’s no big deal. When we're working with others, it is important to make space for feedback that strengthens both our shared work and our relationships.
Because feedback can be fraught, the idea that these conversations hold potential for growth, learning, insight, and greater trust and connection may not immediately resonate.
Perhaps in your experience, feedback is relegated to an annual, high stakes meeting between a superior and a subordinate. Power dynamics are at play. In some contexts some people may be positioned to mostly give feedback while others are expected to mostly receive it. The givers may feel pressure to get the receivers to agree with their interpretation of their work. The receivers may feel defensive and self-protective, wishing to avoid the pain and perceived implications of what they hear.
It doesn’t have to be this way! It’s possible for feedback conversations to:
be approached with clarity and confidence
be a mutual process of sharing and coming to understand what matters to one another
help us consider and communicate about our growth edges with care
catalyze us to develop greater trust in ourselves and in our working relationships
be more collaborative and to strengthen collaboration in our working relationships
bring more humanity and potential for transformation to our workplaces and collaborations
become more comfortable over time, through regular experiences of rupture and repair
foster connection while maintaining personal authenticity